Passover commemorates the Exodus from Egypt. Exodus is something that we recall in our liturgy every day; it’s the cornerstone of our ethical codes - whenever we are instructed to care for the oppressed it is couched in a reminder that we were once ourselves oppressed. The Seder begins with an urgent and proximate declaration of empathy. “All who are hungry, let them enter and eat. All who are in need, let them come celebrate.” 

Exodus is an event that happened historically, but also an archetype of a journey that happens every day of our lives. Leaving Mitzrayim is leaving the places that confine us. Be they physical, emotional or spiritual. This can occur with the breaths we take and the words we speak. It can happen in a singular moment, or it can take centuries of liberation work as an intergenerational process, of collective emergence, as we build the future. This Passover holiday not only commemorates the historical Exodus but invites us (in fact, demands from us) that we ourselves experience the journey from being stuck to unstuck, unfree to free.

How do we do this?

The Seder. The seder is our spiritual technology, or ceremony. The scaffolding or structure of the seder itself actually brings us through a mini redemption. The order of the seder brings us from narrowness to expansiveness - to taste freedom, and to loosen the shackles of what hems us in. The Mishnah gives us a template for the seder in Masechet Pesachim, begin in degradation, end in dignity. Throughout history, the Haggadah developed to include 15 stages that guide us through this process. From our own stuck places towards yearning and freedom. These 15 correspond to the 15 steps leading up the the Temple. So with these 15 steps of the seder, we rise

We begin our seder declaring that in the year to come, the homes that have been skipped by fortune, where plenty has missed its mark, where a living wage, where abundance and sufficiency have passed over, we with gratitude for our tables laden with food and lives filled with sustenance, will pronounce that, with the bread of affliction in our hands, we will not skip those who are hungry, literally or figuratively, any longer.

So, throughout the seder, we learn, we ask, we taste, we yearn, we remember and praise. We tell the story and we tell our stories. We learn how freedom and unfreedom are so mixed up with each other. How we celebrate being free, while we pray for redemption. We remember that true freedom includes facing all the broken parts. That our freedom is both personal, and collective. In each particular moment, it is ongoing and intergenerational, spiritual and material. And so, like all of our holidays, Passover is about drawing from the ancient into the present. Bringing ceremony into our homes and building our emergent future, with intention and hope.

Our Wish: for each of us, a Pesach that is infinite in its possibilities of love and understanding, in its opportunities to share and learn, and journey towards restoration, hope and freedom.

I get it, you’re probably asking yourself, ‘In what way does The Golden Girls relate to the story of Passover?’ Or you’re like, ‘Are any of them even Jewish?’ (Yes, in fact, both Bea Arthur and Estelle Getty were Jewish… and Rue McClanahan probably dated a Jew, or seven.) 

But think about it! Four women, told by society that they’re past their prime, come together to form a community despite what the world tells them they’re supposed to be. Each one of them had to escape a particularly difficult narrative to find exodus: Sophia had to leave Shady Pines, Dorothy had to leave Stan, and Rose and Blanche both had to get over the grief of losing their husbands. 

Need more proof? OK, they weren’t big into wine, but they had their cheesecake! And do you think that cheesecake never had fruit, honey or other gifts from nature? And how many times do you think they had to wait for Rose to finish another St. Olaf story in order to eat dinner? Blanche actively sought justice in the world by getting her birth date removed from her birth certificate by order of the governor. Looking for questions? Dorothy has plenty for ya! 

So if you will, sit back and enjoy a golden Haggadah as told through the brilliance of The Golden Girls. Oh, and thank you for being a mensch. 

The seder officially begins with a physical act: lighting the candles.  In Jewish tradition, lighting candles and saying a blessing over them marks a time of transition, from the day that is ending to the one that is beginning, from ordinary time to sacred time.  Lighting the candles is an important part of our Passover celebration because their flickering light reminds us of the importance of keeping the fragile flame of freedom alive in the world.

Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu melech ha'olam asher kid'shanu b'mitzvotav, v'tzivanu l'hadlik ner shel Yom Tov.

Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Ruler of the Universe, who has sanctified us with laws and commanded us to light the festival lights.

"May the light of the candles we kindle together tonight bring radiance to all who live in darkness. May this season, marking the deliverance of our people from Pharaoh, rouse us against anyone who keeps others in servitude. In gratitude for the freedom we enjoy, may we strive to bring about the liberation of all people everywhere. Lighting these candles, we create the sacred space of the Festival of Freedom; we sanctify the coming together of our community." - Rabbi Rachel Barenblat

The Seder Plate

We place a Seder Plate at our table as a reminder to discuss certain aspects of the Passover story. Each item has its own significance.

Maror  – The bitter herb. This symbolizes the harshness of lives of the Jews in Egypt.

Charoset  – A delicious mix of sweet wine, pears, cardamom, rose petals and nuts that resembles the mortar used as bricks of the many buildings the Jewish slaves built in Egypt

Karpas  – A green vegetable, usually parsley, is a reminder of the green sprouting up all around us during spring and is used to dip into the saltwater to represent tears

Zeroah  – Commonly a roasted lamb or shank bone symbolizing the sacrifice made at the great temple on Passover (The Paschal Lamb), we are using a roasted beet to symbolize the blood.

Beitzah  – The egg symbolizes a different holiday offering that was brought to the temple. Since eggs are the first item offered to a mourner after a funeral, some say it also evokes a sense of mourning for the destruction of the temple. The roundness of the egg also represents the cycle of life — even in the most painful of times, there is always hope for a new beginning.

Orange  - The orange on the seder plate has come to symbolize full inclusion in modern day Judaism: not only for women, but also for people with disabilities, intermarried couples, and the LGBT Community.

Matzah

Matzah is the unleavened bread we eat to remember that when the jews fled Egypt, they didn’t even have time to let the dough rise on their bread. We commemorate this by removing all bread and bread products from our home during Passover.

Elijah’s Cup

The fifth ceremonial cup of wine poured during the Seder. It is left untouched in honor of Elijah, who, according to tradition, will arrive one day as an unknown guest to herald the advent of the Messiah. During the Seder dinner, biblical verses are read while the door is briefly opened to welcome Elijah. In this way the Seder dinner not only commemorates the historical redemption from Egyptian bondage of the Jewish people but also calls to mind their future redemption when Elijah and the Messiah shall appear.

Miriam’s Cup

Another relatively new Passover tradition is that of Miriam’s cup. The cup is filled with water and placed next to Elijah’s cup. Miriam was the sister of Moses and a prophetess in her own right. After the exodus when the Israelites are wandering through the desert, just as Hashem gave them Manna to eat, legend says that a well of water followed Miriam and it was called ‘Miriam’s Well’. The tradition of Miriam’s cup is meant to honor Miriam’s role in the story of the Jewish people and the spirit of all women, who nurture their families just as Miriam helped sustain the Israelites.

It’s time for the wine! As you gather around the table awaiting that first slice of cheesecake—we’ll get there—look at the people around you and notice that, just like when Blanche posted that roommate notice on the bulletin board at the grocery store, the Universe has brought all of you together in this moment. You’re a family. Let the rest of the world go and appreciate the ones you’re with right now (even if they tell boring stories like Rose). 

Grab the wine or grape juice and fill your neighbor's cup (if we’re going to have to do all of this to get to the cheesecake, you’re going to need a lot of wine). Once every cup is full, stand and recite the kiddush. 

After you’ve recited the kiddush, drink… WAIT, before you drink, smell the wine, it might be one of Sophia’s hot toddy’s she makes when Dorothy is sick. You know the one, the drink that potentially killed her husband, Sal. 
 

Sophia: Pussycat, drink this. It'll make you feel better. 
Dorothy: Oh, Ma, another hot toddy? I think I've had enough. 
Sophia: Shut up and drink. 
Dorothy: This is the fourth one. Ma, that's a lot of whiskey. 
Sophia: I only put whiskey in the first one, then we ran out. 
Dorothy: Oh. 
Sophia: The second and third were vodka. 
Dorothy: No wonder my head is spinning. 
Sophia: This one's part Amaretto, part Sambuca. That should kill everything. Killed your father.

SOURCE: Golden Girls S3E11 “Three on a Couch”
 https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0589859/

All Jewish celebrations, from holidays to weddings, include wine as a symbol of our joy – not to mention a practical way to increase that joy. The seder starts with wine and then gives us three more opportunities to refill our cup and drink.

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הַגָּפֶן

Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha-olam, borei p’ree hagafen.

We praise God, Ruler of Everything, who creates the fruit of the vine.

We praise God, Ruler of Everything, who chose us from all peoples and languages, and sanctified us with commandments, and lovingly gave to us special times for happiness, holidays and this time of celebrating the Holiday of Matzah, the time of liberation, reading our sacred stories, and remembering the Exodus from Egypt. For you chose us and sanctified us among all peoples. And you have given us joyful holidays. We praise God, who sanctifies the people of Israel and the holidays.

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם
 שֶׁהֶחֱיָנוּ וְקִיְּמָנוּ וְהִגִּיעָנוּ לַזְּמַן הַזֶּה

Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha-olam,
she-hechiyanu v’key’manu v’higiyanu lazman hazeh.

We praise God, Ruler of Everything,
who has kept us alive, raised us up, and brought us to this happy moment.

Drink the first glass of wine!

Four Cups Of Wine

Many people wonder why we drink four cups of wine on Passover. Well there are many reasons. First of all wine is a royal drink that symbolises freedom. So it seems appropriate to drink it on Passover because they became free. Also g-d convinced the Jews that they should leave Egypt using four statements, 1 I shall take you out, 2 I shall rescue you, 3 I shall redeem you, and 4 I shall bring you. That is part of the reason why we drink four cups on passover.

We wash away all that we want to rid.  We will wash our hands twice during our seder: now, with no blessing, to get us ready for the rituals to come; and then again later, we’ll wash again with a blessing, preparing us for the meal, which Judaism thinks of as a ritual in itself. (The Jewish obsession with food is older than you thought!)

We let the water sooth us, we wash away all that we are letting go. Handwashing has become an integral part of our past two years; we clean to protect ourselves and to protect others. We recall the preciousness of water and the power of Miriam and her wellspring.

Too often during our daily lives we don’t stop and take the moment to prepare for whatever it is we’re about to do.

Let's pause to consider what we hope to get out of our evening together tonight. Go around the table and share one hope or expectation you have for tonight's  seder.

We dip a sprig of vegetable representing spring and renewal into saltwater representing our tears. As we dip, we encounter the paradox and complexity of life and the liberation from work. Freedom is so wrapped up with unfreedom.  Like the lotus flower that grows up from the muck; redemption comes from the crying out.

Before we eat it, we recite a short blessing:

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הָאֲדָמָה

Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha-olam, borei p’ree ha-adama.

We praise God, Ruler of Everything, who creates the fruits of the earth.

"As we dip these vegetables, the karpas, into saltwater, a symbol of the tears of slavery, we remember all those who still suffer under the yoke of oppression. May we open our eyes, our hearts, and our hands, and help to remove suffering and want from our world." Achvat Amim Haggadah 2018

We look forward to spring and the reawakening of flowers and greenery. They haven’t been lost, just buried beneath the snow, getting ready for reappearance just when we most needed them. We all have aspects of ourselves that sometimes get buried under the stresses of our busy lives. What has this winter taught us? What elements of our own lives do we hope to revive this spring?

There are three pieces of matzah stacked on the table. We now break the middle matzah into two pieces. The host should wrap up the larger of the pieces and, at some point between now and the end of dinner, hide it. This piece is called the afikomen, literally “dessert” in Greek. After dinner, the guests will have to hunt for the afikomen in order to wrap up the meal… and win a prize.

We eat matzah in memory of the quick flight of our ancestors from Egypt. As slaves, they had faced many false starts before finally being let go. So when the word of their freedom came, they took whatever dough they had and ran with it before it had the chance to rise, leaving it looking something like matzah.

Uncover and hold up the three pieces of matzah and say:

This is the bread of poverty which our ancestors ate in the land of Egypt. All who are hungry, come and eat; all who are needy, come and celebrate Passover with us. This year we are here; next year we will be in Israel. This year we are slaves; next year we will be free.

These days, matzah is a special food and we look forward to eating it on Passover. Imagine eating only matzah, or being one of the countless people around the world who don’t have enough to eat.

What does the symbol of matzah say to us about oppression in the world, both people literally enslaved and the many ways in which each of us is held down by forces beyond our control? How does this resonate with events happening now?

Pour the second glass of wine for everyone.

The Haggadah doesn’t tell the story of Passover in a linear fashion. We don’t hear of Moses being found by the daughter of Pharaoh – actually, we don’t hear much of Moses at all. Instead, we get an impressionistic collection of songs, images, and stories of both the Exodus from Egypt and from Passover celebrations through the centuries. Some say that minimizing the role of Moses keeps us focused on the miracles God performed for us. Others insist that we keep the focus on the role that every member of the community has in bringing about positive change.

This is where we dive into our telling. In this space we tell our personal stories, we recall stories of the past, we witness the collective stories and we make space for new emergent narratives.

First we have the wise kid, who of course is Mario, Dorothy’s prized pupil who wrote a prize-winning essay (“In America, you always felt that you were among friends.”) and then got deported because of it. But he’s back with his wise question!

On all other nights, we eat a herring salad sandwich on raisin bread. Why on this night, only matzah?

SOURCE: Golden Girls S2E21 “Dorothy’s Prized Pupil”
 https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0589737/

Then we have the wicked kid, which like, you probably know exactly the kid for this one: Daisy! Talk about wicked, this kid not only held Rose’s bear Fernando hostage, but you just know she’s probably snacking on something while everyone else is waiting for the Passover meal. EVIL, pure evil. 

But, Daisy is just as much part of this haggadah as any of these other kids. 

You see this water pistol, it’s filled with red ink, so you better answer this question right. How is this night different from all the other nights? Tick, tock, tick, tock…

SOURCE: Golden Girls S3E1 “Old Friends”
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0589794/

It's time for the simple child: Charley, Rose’s granddaughter. Before she goes on her date with Robert (the one who lives in the castle), she’s got a question for Rose. 

Now that you and mommy have made up, why are we reclining tonight and when can we watch cable? 

SOURCE: Golden Girls S1E16 “The Truth Will Out” 
 https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0589855/

Finally—and it’s about time, Sophia is getting more angry—it’s time for the kid who does not know how to ask. What kid is that? Why it’s Melissa, Blanche’s granddaughter, who, as you’ll remember, knows a thing or two about being afraid to speak her mind. (Which is fine with us, because it made Blanche do Melissa’s number at the talent show!)

Now that I can call you Grandma (just not around anyone in uniform), can you tell me why we call it Passover?

SOURCE: Golden Girls S7E3 “Beauty and the Beast”
 https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0589716/

Our story starts in ancient times, with Abraham, the first person to have the idea that maybe all those little statues his contemporaries worshiped as gods were just statues. The idea of one God, invisible and all-powerful, inspired him to leave his family and begin a new people in Canaan, the land that would one day bear his grandson Jacob’s adopted name, Israel.

God had made a promise to Abraham that his family would become a great nation, but this promise came with a frightening vision of the troubles along the way: “Your descendants will dwell for a time in a land that is not their own, and they will be enslaved and afflicted for four hundred years; however, I will punish the nation that enslaved them, and afterwards they shall leave with great wealth."

Raise the glass of wine and say:

וְהִיא שֶׁעָמְדָה לַאֲבוֹתֵֽינוּ וְלָֽנוּ

V’hi she-amda l’avoteinu v’lanu.

This promise has sustained our ancestors and us.

For not only one enemy has risen against us to annihilate us, but in every generation there are those who rise against us. But God saves us from those who seek to harm us.

The glass of wine is put down.

In the years our ancestors lived in Egypt, our numbers grew, and soon the family of Jacob became the People of Israel. Pharaoh and the leaders of Egypt grew alarmed by this great nation growing within their borders, so they enslaved us. We were forced to perform hard labor, perhaps even building pyramids. The Egyptians feared that even as slaves, the Israelites might grow strong and rebel. So Pharaoh decreed that Israelite baby boys should be drowned, to prevent the Israelites from overthrowing those who had enslaved them.

But God heard the cries of the Israelites. And God brought us out of Egypt with a strong hand and outstretched arm, with great awe, miraculous signs and wonders. God brought us out not by angel or messenger, but through God’s own intervention. 

As we rejoice at our deliverance from slavery, we acknowledge that our freedom was hard-earned. We regret that our freedom came at the cost of the Egyptians’ suffering, for we are all human beings made in the image of God. We pour out a drop of wine for each of the plagues as we recite them.

Dip a finger or a spoon into your wine glass for a drop for each plague.

These are the ten plagues which God brought down on the Egyptians:

Blood | dam | דָּם

Frogs | tzfardeiya |  צְפַרְדֵּֽעַ

Lice | kinim | כִּנִּים

Beasts | arov | עָרוֹב

Cattle disease | dever | דֶּֽבֶר

Boils | sh’chin | שְׁחִין

Hail | barad | בָּרָד

Locusts | arbeh | אַרְבֶּה

Darkness | choshech | חֹֽשֶׁךְ

Death of the Firstborn | makat b’chorot | מַכַּת בְּכוֹרוֹת

The Egyptians needed ten plagues because after each one they were able to come up with excuses and explanations rather than change their behavior. Could we be making the same mistakes? Make up your own list. What are the plagues in your life? What are the plagues in our world today? What behaviors do we need to change to fix them? 

As all good term papers do, we start with the main idea:

ּעֲבָדִים הָיִינוּ הָיִינו. עַתָּה בְּנֵי חוֹרִין  

Avadim hayinu hayinu. Ata b’nei chorin.

We were slaves to Pharaoh in Egypt. Now we are free.

We were slaves to Pharaoh in Egypt, and God took us from there with a strong hand and outstretched arm. Had God not brought our ancestors out of Egypt, then even today we and our children and our grandchildren would still be slaves. Even if we were all wise, knowledgeable scholars and Torah experts, we would still be obligated to tell the story of the exodus from Egypt.

The plagues and our subsequent redemption from Egypt are but one example of the care God has shown for us in our history. Had God but done any one of these kindnesses, it would have been enough – dayeinu.

אִלּוּ הוֹצִיאָֽנוּ מִמִּצְרַֽיִם, דַּיֵּנוּ

Ilu hotzi- hotzianu, Hotzianu mi-mitzrayim Hotzianu mi-mitzrayim, Dayeinu

If God had only taken us out of Egypt, that would have been enough!

אִלּוּ נָתַן לָֽנוּ אֶת־הַתּוֹרָה, דַּיֵּנוּ

Ilu natan natan lanu, natan lanu et ha-Torah, Natan lanu et ha-Torah , Dayeinu

If God had only given us the Torah, that would have been enough.

 The complete lyrics to Dayeinu tell the entire story of the Exodus from Egypt as a series of miracles God performed for us. (See the Additional Readings if you want to read or sing them all.)

Dayeinu also reminds us that each of our lives is the cumulative result of many blessings, small and large. 

בְּכָל־דּוֹר וָדוֹר חַיָּב אָדָם לִרְאוֹת אֶת־עַצְמוֹ, כְּאִלּוּ הוּא יָצָא מִמִּצְרָֽיִם

B’chol dor vador chayav adam lirot et-atzmo, k’ilu hu yatzav mimitzrayim.

In every generation, everyone is obligated to see themselves as though they personally left Egypt.

The seder reminds us that it was not only our ancestors whom God redeemed; God redeemed us too along with them. That’s why the Torah says “God brought us out from there in order to lead us to and give us the land promised to our ancestors.”

---

We praise God, Ruler of Everything, who redeemed us and our ancestors from Egypt, enabling us to reach this night and eat matzah and bitter herbs. May we continue to reach future holidays in peace and happiness.

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הַגָּפֶן

Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha-olam, borei p’ree hagafen.

We praise God, Ruler of Everything, who creates the fruit of the vine.

Drink the second glass of wine!

As we now transition from the formal telling of the Passover story to the celebratory meal, we once again wash our hands to prepare ourselves. In Judaism, a good meal together with friends and family is itself a sacred act, so we prepare for it just as we prepared for our holiday ritual, recalling the way ancient priests once prepared for service in the Temple.

Some people distinguish between washing to prepare for prayer and washing to prepare for food by changing the way they pour water on their hands. For washing before food, pour water three times on your right hand and then three times on your left hand.

Before we wash our hands, please go around and share on thing that you want to release from your story this year. As you wash, allow the water to pull out all the lingering restrictions and narrowness within. Cleanse your hands so they are ready to build!

After you have poured the water over your hands, recite this short blessing.

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָֽׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו, וְצִוָּנוּ  עַל נְטִילַת יָדָֽיִם

Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha-olam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu al n’tilat yadayim.

We praise God, Ruler of Everything, who made us holy through obligations, commanding us to wash our hands.

Or could take some tips from the girls past blessings…

Blanche will insist you say her own blessing. 

Blanche: Dear God, I know it’s been an awful long time since I’ve done this. You have given me a lot to be thankful for: my wonderful children, my health, a beautiful body, legs to die for. A face that is stunningly sexy and yet has the innocence of a child, with luscious lips…
Dorothy: He knows what you look like Blanche.
Blanche: Yes, you know what I look like, and I just wanted to say, good job!

SOURCE: Golden Girls S7E21 “Home Again, Rose: Part 1”
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0589759/

The blessing over the meal and matzah | motzi matzah | מוֹצִיא מַצָּה

The familiar hamotzi blessing marks the formal start of the meal. Because we are using matzah instead of bread, we add a blessing celebrating this mitzvah.

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, הַמּוֹצִיא לֶֽחֶם מִן הָאָֽרֶץ

Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha-olam, hamotzi lechem min ha-aretz.

We praise God, Ruler of Everything, who brings bread from the land.

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָֽׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתַָיו וְצִוָּֽנוּ עַל אֲכִילַת מַצָּה

Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha-olam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu al achilat matzah.

We praise God, Ruler of Everything, who made us holy through obligations, commanding us to eat matzah.

Distribute and eat the top and middle matzah for everyone to eat.

Dipping the bitter herb in sweet charoset | maror  |מָרוֹר   

  In creating a holiday about the joy of freedom, we turn the story of our bitter history into a sweet celebration. We recognize this by dipping our bitter herbs into the sweet charoset. We don’t totally eradicate the taste of the bitter with the taste of the sweet… but doesn’t the sweet mean more when it’s layered over the bitterness?

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָֽׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו וְצִוָּֽנוּ עַל אֲכִילַת מרוֹר

Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha-olam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu al achilat maror.

We praise God, Ruler of Everything, who made us holy through obligations, commanding us to eat bitter herbs.

Or when Sophia got to meet Burt Reynolds! 

Dorothy: That’s it, I don’t want to hear another word.
Sophia: Oh, Cinderella is back from the ball and her three wicked step-sisters are jealous. 
Dorothy: We are not jealous, we are angry. You left us sitting in jail. 
Sophia: Hey, I sent over the bail money, you were out an hour later. I think that was just about the time I was nippling a giant shrimp out of Jerry Reed’s hand. 
Dorothy: You’re making this while thing up just to rub it in. You have never met these people. 
Sophia: Jealously is a very ugly thing Dorothy. And so are you in anything backless. 

So yeah, embrace the golden bitter energy and eat those bitter herbs. Pick em up and dip them in the charoset. Then say…

“Blessed be You, Lord our God, King of the World, Who has sanctified us with His commandments, and commanded us concerning eating bitter herbs.”

SOURCE: Golden Girls S2E2 “Ladies of the Evening” 
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0589768/

Eating a sandwich of matzah and bitter herb | koreich | כּוֹרֵךְ

When the Temple stood in Jerusalem, the biggest ritual of them all was eating the lamb offered as the pesach or Passover sacrifice. The great sage Hillel would put the meat in a sandwich made of matzah, along with some of the bitter herbs. While we do not make sacrifices any more – and, in fact, some Jews have a custom of purposely avoiding lamb during the seder so that it is not mistaken as a sacrifice – we honor this custom by eating a sandwich of the remaining matzah and bitter herbs. Some people will also include charoset in the sandwich to remind us that God’s kindness helped relieve the bitterness of slavery.

Eating the meal! | shulchan oreich | שֻׁלְחָן עוֹרֵךְ

Enjoy! But don’t forget when you’re done we’ve got a little more seder to go, including the final two cups of wine!

Finding and eating the Afikomen | tzafoon | צָפוּן

The playfulness of finding the afikomen reminds us that we balance our solemn memories of slavery with a joyous celebration of freedom. As we eat the afikomen, our last taste of matzah for the evening, we are grateful for moments of silliness and happiness in our lives.

You’ve done all that work, so you might as well finish it all off with a little more wine, some blessing, and most importantly, being together with your loved ones. 

If you can find your glass amid the sea of dirty plates on the table, fill it up with some wine and say the grace after your meal (you’ve got a few to choose from). Do it for the needy sexy people. 
 

Singing songs that praise God | hallel | הַלֵּל

This is the time set aside for singing. Some of us might sing traditional prayers from the Book of Psalms. Others take this moment for favorites like Chad Gadya & Who Knows One, which you can find in the appendix. To celebrate the theme of freedom, we might sing songs from the civil rights movement. Or perhaps your crazy Uncle Frank has some parody lyrics about Passover to the tunes from a musical. We’re at least three glasses of wine into the night, so just roll with it.

Fourth Glass of Wine

As we come to the end of the seder, we drink one more glass of wine. With this final cup, we give thanks for the experience of celebrating Passover together, for the traditions that help inform our daily lives and guide our actions and aspirations.

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הַגָּפֶן

Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha-olam, borei p’ree hagafen.

We praise God, Ruler of Everything, who creates the fruit of the vine.

Drink the fourth and final glass of wine! 

The Cup of Elijah

We now refill our wine glasses one last time and open the front door to invite the prophet Elijah to join our seder.

In the Bible, Elijah was a fierce defender of God to a disbelieving people. At the end of his life, rather than dying, he was whisked away to heaven. Tradition holds that he will return in advance of messianic days to herald a new era of peace, so we set a place for Elijah at many joyous, hopeful Jewish occasions, such as a baby’s bris and the Passover seder.

אֵלִיָּֽהוּ הַנָּבִיא, אֵלִיָּֽהוּ הַתִּשְׁבִּיאֵלִיָּֽהוּ, אֵלִיָּֽהוּ,אֵלִיָּֽהוּ הַגִּלְעָדִי

בִּמְהֵרָה בְיָמֵֽנוּ יָבוֹא אֵלֵֽינוּ

עִם מָשִֽׁיחַ בֶּן דָּוִד

עִם מָשִֽׁיחַ בֶּן דָּוִד

Eliyahu hanavi
Eliyahu hatishbi
Eliyahu, Eliyahu, Eliyahu hagiladi
Bimheirah b’yameinu, yavo eileinu
Im mashiach ben-David,
Im mashiach ben-David

Elijah the prophet, the returning, the man of Gilad:
return to us speedily,
in our days with the messiah,
son of David.

If anybody is going to be able to see Elijah the Prophet enter, it’s going to be Rose. In fact, Rose likely has a herring sandwich waiting for Elijah. Once Elijah is there, it’s time to sing some Psalms of Praise! But since this is a Golden Girls inspired Seder, you have a number of tunes to sing to. 

There’s “Miami Is Nice.” Say it thrice!
 

SOURCE: Golden Girls S2E6 "Big Daddy's Little Lady" 
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0589720/

Nirtzah  marks the conclusion of the seder. Our bellies are full, we have had several glasses of wine, we have told stories and sung songs, and now it is time for the evening to come to a close. At the end of the seder, we honor the tradition of declaring, “Next year in Jerusalem!”

For some people, the recitation of this phrase expresses the anticipation of rebuilding the Temple in Jerusalem and the return of the Messiah. For others, it is an affirmation of hope and of connectedness with  Klal Yisrael, the whole of the Jewish community. Still others yearn for peace in Israel and for all those living in the Diaspora.

Though it comes at the end of the seder, this moment also marks a beginning. We are beginning the next season with a renewed awareness of the freedoms we enjoy and the obstacles we must still confront. We are looking forward to the time that we gather together again. Having retold stories of the Jewish people, recalled historic movements of liberation, and reflected on the struggles people still face for freedom and equality, we are ready to embark on a year that we hope will bring positive change in the world and freedom to people everywhere.

In  The Leader's Guide to the Family Participation Haggadah: A Different Night, Rabbi David Hartman writes: “Passover is the night for reckless dreams; for visions about what a human being can be, what society can be, what people can be, what history may become.”

What can  we  do to fulfill our reckless dreams? What will be our legacy for future generations?

Our seder is over, according to Jewish tradition and law. As we had the pleasure to gather for a seder this year, we hope to once again have the opportunity in the years to come. We pray that God brings health and healing to Israel and all the people of the world, especially those impacted by natural tragedy and war. As we say…

לְשָׁנָה הַבָּאָה בִּירוּשָׁלָֽיִם

L’shana haba-ah biy’rushalayim

NEXT YEAR IN JERUSALEM!

And finally, to truly say "Next Year in Miami," there’s the classic theme song “Thank You For Being a Friend.” Because duh.

SOURCE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23GrEhLUF_k 

The table is a mess. You’re stuffed with cheesecake. You’ve reclined so much you can barely move. That’s the point! 

It’s been thousands of years of people telling this story year after year. And year after year, we come together with the people we love and are reminded of the gifts we are given: the gift of community, the gift of love, and the gift of life. No matter if it’s your immediate family or a chosen family like on The Golden Girls, the people at your Seder are family. 

Take this golden spirit and apply it to your life in the next year. Remember that you have the confidence of Dorothy, the humble heart of Rose, the freedom of expression from Blanche and the audacity of Sophia. 
 

Chad Gadya

חַד גַּדְיָא, חַד גַּדְיָא

דְזַבִּין אַבָּא בִּתְרֵי זוּזֵי

חַד גַּדְיָא, חַד גַּדְיָא

Chad gadya, chad gadya

Dizabin abah bitrei zuzei

Chad gadya, chad gadya.

One little goat, one little goat:

Which my father brought for two zuzim.

One little goat, one little goat:

The cat came and ate the goat,

Which my father bought for two zuzim.

One little goat, one little goat:

The dog came and bit the cat

That ate the goat,

Which my father bought for two zuzim.

One little goat, one little goat:

The stick came and beat the dog

That bit the cat that ate the goat,

Which my father bought for two zuzim.

One little goat, one little goat:

The fire came and burned the stick

That beat the dog that bit the cat

That ate the goat,

Which my father bought for two zuzim.

One little goat, one little goat:

The water came and extinguished the

Fire that burned the stick

That beat the dog that bit the cat

That ate the goat,

Which my father bought for two zuzim.

One little goat, one little goat:

The ox came and drank the water

That extinguished the fire

That burned the stick that beat the dog That bit the cat that ate the goat,

Which my father bought for two zuzim.

One little goat, one little goat:

The butcher came and killed the ox,

That drank the water

That extinguished the fire

That burned the stick that beat the dog That bit the cat that ate the goat,

Which my father bought for two zuzim.

One little goat, one little goat:

The angle of death came and slew

The butcher who killed the ox,

That drank the water

That extinguished the fire

That burned the stick that beat the dog That bit the cat that ate the goat,

Which my father bought for two zuzim.

One little goat, one little goat:

The Holy One, Blessed Be He came and

Smote the angle of death who slew

The butcher who killed the ox,

That drank the water

That extinguished the fire

That burned the stick that beat the dog That bit the cat that ate the goat,

Which my father bought for two zuzim.